‘I Will Carry You’

We may know what it is to pray to God, to call to God and know that he is listening, but in times of darkness, do we know the fullness of what it is to depend upon God, to trust in the power and the grace of God and know that he will overcome our trials?

Even to your old age and grey hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you;I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

Isaiah 46:4

God’s care for us does not falter, every morning God’s mercies are new. God loves us and does not wish us to be overcome by darkness, he brings us into the light. Do we really understand how wonderful it is that when we ourselves are broken, when we have no power to walk ourselves, to carry on, God will take upon our pain, and he will bear it for us?

During my church’s first ‘Week of Prayer’ there was little prayer meeting in a garden near our church. We were a small group, but I saw, in an instant, the challenge that God had given me. An opportunity not to remain within my comfort zone but to learn, to become more confident and bold in sharing my faith, to grow in my confidence in prayer.

In such a small prayer meeting, I couldn’t hide in the background, or pretend that I wasn’t part of the group. They welcomed me, they knew that I was there. I knew that a year ago this situation would have terrified me, to speak in such way and express myself openly. But here I was, and God was strengthening me, God was carrying me, He was giving me the chance to grow, to reach out and be confident in my faith.

That weekend we heard in the sermon how, as Christians, are sent to be workers, to spread God’s word across the nations and to show his love to everyone. The sermon challenged me, it reminded me of how important it is too reach out to others, and at the same time reminded me of the power of prayer in helping others. It reminded me that it is God who gives me strength and God who gives me the words to speak. In prayer, I know that God understands, and in trouble, I know that God knows what I need.

In the week following the Week of Prayer I was faced with my First Year University exams. In the past I had always found exams and the education system extremely stressful, I was easily overcome by the anxieties I faced. But I knew now that God was supporting me and that, whatever happened, it was part of God’s plan. Facing my own troubles following our church’s week of prayer showed me, in practice, the great importance of prayer in times of need. In the desperation, stress and the anxiety about the future I knew that I could turn to God. I knew that God cared for me and that God did not want me to be filled with anxiety.

And yet our week of prayer had shown to me something else important. I saw in our activities and in the prayers of others that we must not come to God only in times of need, but that we should always be in conversation with God, not only calling and pleading, but praising and showing our great thankfulness for what God has done for us and for what God does for us every day of our lives. God has given me so much in my life and I knew, during the exam period, that the academic worries. I faced were of such little importance compared to the greatness and the kindness of God. I knew that if everything else fell away, I would still have God.

And yet, even within a single day I find myself forgetting the promises of God and the reality of his presence. I find myself distracted, or overwhelmed, turning away from God. My final exam, with honesty, did not go well, I struggled to answer the questions and knew that I was not showing what I had learnt, I fell short of the academic success that I expected myself to achieve.

But, it being a Theology exam, we were given Bibles, I had with me God’s word, and so, unable to write anymore, I flicked through the Psalms, on which I had answered my last question, and began to read:

The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Psalm 18:2

And I knew that this was all that mattered, that God is far greater than my worries, my fears of failure and of praying aloud. God knows my anxieties and he is so much greater.

Throughout the Week of Prayer and the days that followed I was reminded of the necessity of prayer, the necessity to show thankfulness and praise and to depend upon God both in times of light and in times of darkness. In our prayers and in our relationship with God we can depend upon him, and in our weakness he will carry us.